M is for Monica. i'm a full time commerce student @ UWA. i turn one year older on the 14th Oct. i ♥ Jesus and not afraid to tell the world. i want to do YWAM and missions in the future. i love heights - planes, skyscrapers, mountains, cliffs, you name it. One day i hope to go bungee jumping and sky diving. i was born in China but have lived in Australia most of my life. Having said that, i'm still quite chinese lol. i like pink things, ribbons, bows, hearts, hello kitty, ruffles, lace, florals. i have a shoe fetish. i wouldn't call myself a shopaholic, although most of my friends would say otherwise. People often see me as strong, independent, ambitious. i thank God for the past 21 years that i've been alive. He has been ever faithful, gracious and loving.



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>Your grace has found me just as i am, empty handed but alive in Your hands
>i called, You answered, i wanna be where You are
>i am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, vapour in the wind. still You hear me when i call out, Lord you catch me when i'm falling and you tell me who i am, i am Yours
>Broken hearts become brand new, that's what faith can do
>A thousand times i've failed, still Your mercy remains. And should i stumble again, still i'm caught in Your grace.
>My heart will sing, no other name, Jesus.
>If i had wings i would fly, coz all that i am, You are. If the world caved in around me, to You i'd still hold on.
>Your light will shine when all else fades
>i'm running to Your arms, i'm running to Your arms. The riches of Your love will always be enough.
>我们不是你和我
>活在第一次的见面里
>只要你一个眼神肯定，我的爱就有意义
>爱转角遇见了谁，是否有爱情的美。爱转角以后的街，能不能有我来陪。
>自由再被绑架之前，我决定过瘾的享受孤单。
>笑着面对每个阻碍，不轻易说离开
>我还记得你笑的像孩子一样
>离开我，你会不会好一点?
>幸福的开始就是放手去爱
>心碎了一地，捡不回从前的心跳
>我会学着放弃你，是因为我太爱你
>you're the only one whose got enough of me to break my heart
>you're the only one i've loved enough to not forget
>Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i could really use a wish right now
>you're the best thing that's ever been mine
>In a storm, in my best dress, fearless.
>If you're my dream please come true

I'm off to China! Unfortunately, as part of this language course, i have to write a weekly 'cultural reflection' of at least 500 words. So i've decided to blog every weeks', just so you guys can see what i've been up to on the other side of the world. Here's the first one:

I'm sitting here at Hong Kong airport on a Friday morning surviving on 2 hours of sleep. To be honest I'm not particularly excited to go to China. It's weird because normally I would be dying to get out of Perth. Somehow this time it feels a bit different; maybe because I've been to China so many times before so don't have any particular expectations. However I do look forward to meeting new people. I’m also looking forward to just getting away, having some time to myself (hopefully), and leaving all responsibilities behind. In other words to actually RELAX. Normally I find that when I go overseas, I end up being more busy than back in Perth! It’s also quite stressful, having to organise what to do each day, meet up with family and friends (when I go back to my hometown Nanjing, which is most of the time anyway), run errands for my parents (when I go back alone) etc. But so far the chinese classes don’t seem to be that intense and we have plenty of free time *fingers crossed*. I've also set myself a few goals for the next two months: to step out of my comfort zone, stay away from the internet as much as possible, read 10 books by Tozer, and write a daily diary.

One major concern for me is I'm not sure how well I'll cope with seeing the same people (namely two of my closest friends Celestee and Ivy) every single day for 2 whole months. A good example where I just get sick of people: my church holds an annual 3-4 day church camp; everyone stays in chalets of 5-7 people, so you pretty much see these people 24/7. And usually by the last day of camp I just get so sick of these people and it gets up to the point where everything they do ticks me off! I mean, we’re still good friends and all but I just can’t spend every single moment of every day with the same people. I’ve found that when you live with people, that’s when you really get to know them. A lot of people act very differently at home compared with when outside. For example I have this friend who is super quiet in public, and speaks really softly. But when she’s at home, she is extremely loud and playful. Teaches us not to judge a book by its cover. However, I’m not sure whether you’ll call this dual personalities. Nevertheless I guess I really need to try to be patient and understanding on this trip. I’m not a very patient person and like to get things done; so that will be a real challenge for me.

I’m not exactly sure of what to expect from this language course; I think I’ll probably end up in the Native class. Not sure what kind of things we will learn, e.g. whether we learn how to write essays or learn chinese history. But either way, I brought along my trusty chinese-english dictionary so all good (:

----

Note: these entries are not very personal coz i have to send it to my unit coordinator >_>;;
anyway, enjoy! Hopefully the internet at uni dorms will be up and running soon (:





24 more hours till my flight out of here. Somehow i feel kinda weird. Normally i would be dying to leave; but this time, not so much. i still want to get out of here, but kinda don't want to at the same time. Gah i hate inner conflicts! i haven't packed yet, and really do not look forward to packing. All this is really stressful >_> It's been a crazy week, going out, catching up with people. i'm scared of what will await, but excited at the same time. Have you ever had that feeling before? It's kinda similar to crying and laughing at the same time. It kinda sucks, and i would know.



Last week i was going on and on about these two amazing guitar songs:





Literally, to every single person i talked to i was like, "zomg you have to hear these songs!! i'm in love!"

Then it kinda occurred to me, shouldn't we be like that about Jesus? If we claim to love Him with all our heart, giving Him everything, having a burning passion for Him; then shouldn't we be dying to introduce Him to every person we meet? We'd be excited to talk about Him. But in reality it's not like that at all. In fact, alot of the times completely the opposite. This is something i really need to work on in my life. Time for a new chapter.



Not what i can do for You Lord, but what You can do through me.

God doesn't need us to do a thing for Him. He is almighty and all powerful. He can do all things. That means He can do great things through you. Trust and believe.



i find myself more busy in the holidays than exam study period >_>

anyway, today (Friday) i visited BP youth group and the speaker talked about Prayer. It was a super timely message and really reminded me of the importance of prayer and common hindrances. What struck me was when the speaker said: prayer, Bible reading and serving is a complete package. you shouldn't be doing one without the other. For me i find it so hard to keep a good balance between praying and Bible reading. To be honest, i pray more than i read. i really really need to read God's Word more. Other timely reminders: the more we pray, the easier it gets; the more we think about God, the more we pray (and vice versa). The speaker based his whole talk on Isaiah 1. i should go read that passage in detail later.



i'm finally done with exams! but oddly, i don't feel that excited /:
have a whole list of things to do before i leave in exactly 1 week.
urgh.



A song from Taylor's newest album. i find the lyrics hilarious lol

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in
On a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl

I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family
All dressed in pastel

And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room
Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

This is surely not
What you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream
Where I stand and say:

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said "speak now"

Fond gestures are exchanged
And the organ starts to play
A song that sounds like a death march

And I am hiding in the curtains
It seems I was uninvited
By your lovely bride-to-be

She floats down the aisle
Like a pageant queen
But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me, don't you?

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said "speak now"

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
Your time is running out
And they said, "speak now"

Ooh, la, oh
Ooh, ooh

I hear the preacher say
"Speak now or forever hold your peace"
There's a silence, there's my last chance
I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me

Horrified looks from
Everyone in the room
But I'm only looking at you

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in
On a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy
Who should be marrying the wrong girl

So don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said, "speak now"

And you say
Let's run away now
I'll meet you when
I'm out of my tux at the back door

Baby, I didn't say my vows
So glad you were around when they said
"Speak now"

oh how easy it is to say; but when it actually comes down to doing...

i'm scared, but i know Lord You will do amazing things. Wherever, however, whenever.

just a scatter of thoughts going through my head; caught up with Sharon today and we talked about a lot of things.

It's weird how this year there's been so much talk of ywam. It's good to be mission minded, and i guess we lacked that in previous years; but not every single person is called to be a missionary overseas. This is our mission field right now: where we live, study, work, spend most of our time. The majority of people will lead 'normal' lives but still glorify God through them. Right now i'm not sure whether i really wanna do ywam or just because everyone's been talking about it. i know i def wanna do missions tho, so i guess ywam will be a good starting point.

i've realised that when we really do things for God's glory, it all falls into place. However often it's so easy to say we are doing it for God, but are we really? Perhaps we need to question our true motives constantly. Oh how hard it is to be selfless. Lord please refine me through the flame, to become more like You.

A guy from ywam (Sam) shared his testimony with us last night. He talked alot bout passion and gifting. How alot of the times, the two don't coincide. We may be naturally good at something but not necessarily have the passion for it. Two simple examples he gave outta the blue were accounting and piano. That was like 'ding' 'ding' for me. i've never been too bad at accounting; up to the point where i would not do anything (literally) the whole semester, cram during study break and somehow it would still be my highest scoring unit. Whereas the other units i actually do work during the semester. Even though i have a natural thing for accounting, i hate it to bits! i dont have any interest in it at all! The second example was piano - i've learnt piano for 6 years in the past. My teachers have commented that i was good, just needed to practice more. The reason why i never practiced was because i had no passion for it. But somehow even without practicing my pieces (apart from the few weeks leading up to exams) i still managed to finish up to grade 6 AMEB. After that i tried grade 7 but just couldn't be bothered anymore. So my classical piano journey ended there lol. For the past few years i've always thought i would become an accountant, somehow. No matter how much i hated it, i was never able to get away. And i thought this is what God wanted me to do too. But God had better plans. As i'm 3/4 of the way through my degree, i'm beginning to see more clearly where God is leading me. Things are just falling into place and i'm excited about the future. Whatever the future holds, i know it is in God's hands (:

i have been inspired to take guitar more seriously, after i come back from China ;D

watching.waiting.wondering.





Have you ever heard God talk to you? Have you ever experienced something where you undoubtedly knew this was God speaking to you? i have.

2010 has been a year of many answered prayers, seeing many things fall into place. Whether the answer was yes, no or wait. It's so amazing to know that God is a God who listens to and answers prayers, and is actively working in each of our lives. No one is insignificant to Him. i've always firmly believed that when God says no, He has something better planned. Only He knows what is going to happen, and His plans are perfect. Even though many times we may feel distraught and question God why something is happening; take a step back, let Him take control, and He will lead you to where He wants you to go. After all, Romans 8:28 says - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. "

Trust, and Believe.





i love how AUD>USD at the moment
but i hate how i need to study for exams, hence cannot spend the entire day internet shopping ):
and i wish AUD would rise a bit more against GBP (x

so ready to get outta here.



Bahhhh distractions distractions ><"
Haven't done any studying this weekend /:
However, just found out that my FSA exam only comprises of 50MCQ + a 20 mark short answer/written ques. YAY. That will save me alot of studying :D And we also get a whole 3hr 10mins to do that (x
Now to get back to auditing /: this is killing me /:



First exam is later today. i'm feeling uneasy because it feels like i know absolutely nothing, even though i've been studying the whole week. i guess times like these all one can do is PRAY.



i have a tendency to buy a lot of useless things. i mean, they're not literally useless, i just never get a chance to use them ><" some examples below:


Giant sized document clips


Notebooks i've accumulated over the years (x


Awesome heel paperclips!


Blackhead remover bought from China 2 yrs ago (i think)


Fridge shopping list :D


Dog bone shaped nail clippers (x


Giant peg lol

i also have a tendency to buy dresses without first finding an occasion to wear them ><"

and lately, i've had a tendency to buy all things floral/printed. i'm just so sick of plain coloured clothes lol. Here's my floral/printed collection thus far:



Hmm...maybe i just have a tendency to spend money in general /: