M is for Monica. i'm a full time commerce student @ UWA. i turn one year older on the 14th Oct. i ♥ Jesus and not afraid to tell the world. i want to do YWAM and missions in the future. i love heights - planes, skyscrapers, mountains, cliffs, you name it. One day i hope to go bungee jumping and sky diving. i was born in China but have lived in Australia most of my life. Having said that, i'm still quite chinese lol. i like pink things, ribbons, bows, hearts, hello kitty, ruffles, lace, florals. i have a shoe fetish. i wouldn't call myself a shopaholic, although most of my friends would say otherwise. People often see me as strong, independent, ambitious. i thank God for the past 21 years that i've been alive. He has been ever faithful, gracious and loving.



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>Your grace has found me just as i am, empty handed but alive in Your hands
>i called, You answered, i wanna be where You are
>i am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, vapour in the wind. still You hear me when i call out, Lord you catch me when i'm falling and you tell me who i am, i am Yours
>Broken hearts become brand new, that's what faith can do
>A thousand times i've failed, still Your mercy remains. And should i stumble again, still i'm caught in Your grace.
>My heart will sing, no other name, Jesus.
>If i had wings i would fly, coz all that i am, You are. If the world caved in around me, to You i'd still hold on.
>Your light will shine when all else fades
>i'm running to Your arms, i'm running to Your arms. The riches of Your love will always be enough.
>我们不是你和我
>活在第一次的见面里
>只要你一个眼神肯定，我的爱就有意义
>爱转角遇见了谁，是否有爱情的美。爱转角以后的街，能不能有我来陪。
>自由再被绑架之前，我决定过瘾的享受孤单。
>笑着面对每个阻碍，不轻易说离开
>我还记得你笑的像孩子一样
>离开我，你会不会好一点?
>幸福的开始就是放手去爱
>心碎了一地，捡不回从前的心跳
>我会学着放弃你，是因为我太爱你
>you're the only one whose got enough of me to break my heart
>you're the only one i've loved enough to not forget
>Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i could really use a wish right now
>you're the best thing that's ever been mine
>In a storm, in my best dress, fearless.
>If you're my dream please come true

Back to reality? Maybe money is more important than i thought. Even though money can't buy everything, it certainly can buy all tangible things in life. And that's what you need to survive, to maintain a decent lifestyle. Missionaries and pastors alike all need money to carry out their work.

Just had a talk with my dad. More accurately, he lectured and i listened. All i could do was nod and agree because i didn't want to start an argument. It was nothing new, the same old - do you know how hard money is to earn and you're not willing to come work for the family business. Everything he said was centered around money. If my bro & i were willing to take over the business we would earn $100k+ a year; other families save for so many years and only able to afford one trip to ___ whereas we go back to China nearly every year.

i've never wanted to take over the business. i don't think i'm capable or suitable for this kind of role. This isn't what i want to do in life. i don't want to be an accountant or a business woman anymore. but...all this is so self centered. Is it time to take a step back and think about the family? But i've never intended to stay in Perth. Everything at the moment is a muddle. Don't know what is going to happen. All i can do now is pray, and trust. Pray for God to show me the way, and trust that He knows the best for me and my future.

i know my future is in Your hands,
all of my hopes and dreams and plans.
You give me strength to live and faith to succeed,
i believe in You, because You believed in me.